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 Can I try? Addison asks.
 Yeah, I need to go and sort out this mess.
Like my body comes to life, I bolt upright and scream,  No! Please, don t leave me again!
Jackson flinches, and his eyes are bloodshot red. He has wet jeans on, and no shirt. I start to
shake, swinging my head from side to side. I don t know why, but I can t stop it. I don t want him to
go. I want him to stay with me. I need him.
 Jackson, no, please. Don t leave me.
He walks over, dropping to his knees.  I m not leaving you, baby. I m here, you hear me?
He wraps me in his arms, and lays us both down. He holds me so tightly I struggle to breathe, but I
don t care. I need it. I need him. I cling to him, shaking wildly.
 Stop shakin for me, darlin . It s ok. I got you. I won t let you go.
 I m s-s-s-sorry. This...is all my fault.
 Hush.
He holds me tighter, until my world begins to spin and everything goes black.
I m thankful for that darkness.
~*~**~*~
JACKSON
 She needs to eat, Spike says, as we stare in at Serenity, who is curled up like a tiny fairy, sleeping.
 I don t know if she will, fuck, she saw some bad shit.
 Yeah, I know.
 Sorry man, I know he was one of your guys, I say, clapping Spike s shoulder.
 It s fucked, but sometimes it happens. We are holding a service for him next week.
 He have a family?
 No, thank fuck.
 What are we goin to do about Hogan? I ask, feeling my fists clench.
 I don t know, we need to call a meeting and get a game plan underway. We don t have long.
He ll be on the hunt now.
 Yeah, I say.  I know.
 Get your girl sorted and I ll call a meeting.
I nod.  Thanks Spike, for everything.
He grips my shoulder.  I know what it s like to hurt, boss. Sometimes you go to a place you can t
get out of. You re out now, and all will come good.
 I fuckin hope so.
 Yeah, Spike says, turning and walking to the door.  So do I.
I turn back to Serenity, and grip the small plate of sandwiches off the table, and carry it over to
the bed. Looking at her sleeping, her tiny body all bruised and battered again, makes my body coil up
with regret. The poor girl, I was an asshole to her, and I put her in a position that could have gotten
her killed. I could have killed her, and my child.
I reach down, running my fingers over her thick hair. She groans and shifts, and I see how skinny
she s gotten in the past few days. Poor thing, it s my fault for being such a pig to her. I gently shake
her, and she groans again, fluttering her eyes open. She looks up at me for a moment, seeing nothing,
and then her eyes soften and my heart fucking rips in half. After it all, she s still lookin at me like I m
her knight in shining motherufckin armor.
 Hey beautiful, I say.  You need to wake up. You ve been asleep for hours.
She blinks, and I notice her eyes are red and glassy. She rubs them, and forces herself up on her
elbows.
 I...I don t feel so good.
 You need to eat for me, I say, pushing the plate towards her.
 I...c-c-can t.
 Baby, I say, dropping onto the bed.  For me? Please.
Nodding, she lifts the sandwich into her hands and nibbles on it.
 You need some painkillers?
She shakes her head.  I m ok.
 Are you sure? What about...ummm...
 The baby? she whispers, looking at me through her lashes.
 Yeah, the baby.
 I don t know...I think I need to see a doctor.
My heart hammers.  Why?
She shrugs.  Well...all the beatings and dehydration...
 Fuck, this is all my fault.
She shakes her head, reaching out and gripping my hands.  No, this one is my fault. I lied; I put
myself in this position.
 Why d you do it? I rasp, and her eyes well with tears.
 He would have hurt her Jackson; he would have killed Ebony without a second glance. I couldn t
do that to a child. I didn t want to do it, so I lied, I made up as much as I could to send him off the
trail. I know it means nothing to you right now, but I am sorry. I never wanted to do it, as soon as I got
to know you; I knew I couldn t keep going with it. I had no escape, the only way out was telling you,
and that meant loosing you, so I put it off...
I meet her gaze, and she s staring at me with hopeful eyes.
 I would have done the same thing, in the end...
Her lip trembles, and she squeezes my hands harder.  I meant what I said out there the other day,
you know...
 What? I ask.
Fuck. My eyes are burning. Toughen up, Jackson.
 About loving you...I do...I love you, Jackson.
I close my eyes, fuck, those words. They crush me. They fucking crush me.
 I... I get to my feet.  You re too young for me, fuck, Serenity...I can t...It s not...
Her face.
Fuck.
She s looking at me like I ve just ripped her heart out.
 You don t feel the same? she whispers, trembling.
 I...what I feel doesn t matter. I m no good for you, or...
 Jackson, she pleads.  Don t leave me again.
 Fuck, I spin around and walk out quickly.
I can t love her. I can t. It s not right. It makes no sense. She s a baby, having my baby.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I can t do this.
Can I?
~*CHAPTER 20*~
SERENITY
I sit on the bed, completely stunned. He walked out. I told him I loved him, and he walked out. Is that
all my words meant to him? Has he been just trying to find a way out all this time? My stomach turns,
and I shift from the bed, standing up. That s when it hits me - a sharp, angry pain in my lower belly. I
cry out, clutching my stomach as my head begins to spin. No, oh please no.
 J-Jackson? I rasp.
Nothing.
I stand and walk to the bathroom, stepping in and locking the door behind me. I lower myself to
the floor, clutching my stomach. It s hard to determine exactly where the pain is, because my body is
so bruised and battered, but I know it s down low. I am so sick of crying, and yet tears threaten to
escape. I pull myself up onto the toilet, groaning at the smell. It s not nice sharing only two toilets
with this many men.
I wipe.
And my head begins to spin.
Blood. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]