[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

whizzing past their ears. "Get those guns going!" His own weapons started
blazing and a row of the nearest Indians bit the dust messily.
Eager Beager hastily jumped behind a rock, from which he blasted away at their
multitude of attackers.
As the first arrows flew any vestige of his Western manliness suddenly fled
from Bill. This was no fight, this was a massacre. The only reasonable thing
any one with a grain of intelligence should do was vamoose
!
However, when Bill turned to run, he saw that he was cut off at the pass. An
Page 90
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
enormous quantity of
Vindaloo Indians had flowed behind them.
They were surrounded!
"Bowb!" commented Bill intelligently as he started blasting away, hoping to
shoot his way out, exploding
Red-membranes willy-nilly. But for every Indian he blasted, another took its
place. And he was running out of ammunition.
They were all running out of ammunition!
Wyatt Slurp had an arrow through his arm and a bullet in his belly, but he
just kept on firing.
"Sheee eet," he laughed. "Ah only got one bullet left!" Streaming blood, he
snarled out to the outlaws, "Billy! This one has your name on it!" With a
war-whoop that sounded like a Hoop's worth of rebel yells, Sheriff Slurp
charged toward the blazing group of outlaws. Splat splat spat! went the
bullets as they tore
file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...the%20Planet%20of%20Tasteless%
20Pleasures.htm (88 of 95) [10/14/2004 11:58:11 PM]
Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure into his manly
body. But the Sheriff just kept on walking, though soaked in blood, until he
was within spitting distance of Billy the Kidney.
"Kidney," he gasped. "Suck on this!"
Billy the Kidney turned to run, but Sheriff Slurp's bullet caught him in the
back. The Kidney exploded like a water-filled balloon, and slapped hard onto
the ground.
"I can die happy now!" groaned the Sheriff.
"We'll help you along!" cried the Jism Gang, who immediately filled the
Sheriff so full of lead that gravity instantly dragged him down. But the
firing continued until Sheriff Wyatt Slurp was finally and truly dead.
This was too much for Doc Shoreleave. He simply cracked.
"Beam me up, Beagle!" he cried to the skies. "Beam me up!"
Arrows whistled through the air, pin-cushioning him, making him look like a
walking hairbrush. Or rather a standing one. He really was dead on his feet 
so bristled with arrows all around him that even though he was quite dead, he
couldn't fall down; he was propped up by arrows.
Bill blasted, reloaded, and blasted some more until the hammer clicked on an
empty chamber and there were no more silver bullets to be had.
Somehow, through the unknown manifest workings of destiny, or stupid luck,
Bill so far had escaped without a wound. But the way the volleys were flying,
he knew he was going to catch some any second.
He was going to die. Croak. Expire. Bite the big one, go out for a Burton,
snuff it, buy the farm, take the
Black Hole Express. His life passed before his eyes. Though he'd been remiss
of late, since he was four years old, and had not gone to church, he nurtured
the secret and irrational hope that soon he would be dropping through the
great Tunnel of Light within moments, and that his Great-Grandfather Bill
would be waiting for him with his good old Robomule, Rusty, just a-rarin' to
start plowing the heavenly sod.
An explosion cracked the sky.
"I'm coming, Great-Grandad!" cried Bill. "I'm coming home
!"
Closing his eyes, he braced himself.
Trying not to whimper, he readied himself for Death's sting.
But Death did not sting.
In fact, the bullets stopped whizzing and the arrows stopped whistling.
"Gee! Bill, look at that
!"
Bill opened his eyes. Bgr the Chinger was jumping up and down, pointing up at
the sky excitedly.
Page 91
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
Bill looked up.
The rocket ship was coming down on a sun-bright plume of fire, silvery and
needle-shaped. Bill shielded his eyes and studied the starship more closely.
Could it be! Yes, it was!
There it was, proudly printed on the side: the name!
It was the starship called DESIRE.
It was Rick the Supernal Hero's spaceship!
The reaction amongst the Indians was fear and mass panic. As one they
thundered back to the slopes of the hills, where they watched with awe as the
ship settled down on the field where they had once swarmed, frying the fallen
of their number. Gray spumes of smoke and yellow tongues of flame whipped and
fluttered and then slowly dissipated.
"Curses!" cried Dr. Latex Delazny. "What's going on here! Modern technology is
not supposed to work
file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...the%20Planet%20of%20Tasteless%
20Pleasures.htm (89 of 95) [10/14/2004 11:58:11 PM]
Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure here in the
Over-Gland!"
A voice erupted from the fabulous starship's outside speaker system. "Whoever
said this boat was modern
, Delazny? This ship's straight from the 1940's AMAZING STORIES!"
Bill recognized the voice. It was Rick! The real
Rick, not the android that Delazny had created to spy upon them. The Rick for
whom Bill had been first mate!
"He didn't forget me!" cried Bill. "He's come to our rescue! Yeah, Rick!
Yeah!"
Delazny turned back to the hundreds of thousands of Indian hordes. "Don't
worry, great Indian nation! [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]