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And then Mitch walked in.
She stopped spinning and stared in the mirror.
She didn t even recognize the person in the mirror.
It wasn t her. It was Jackie Benson, stranger and
usurper of Jenny Williams.
She stared at the mirror. Jenny Williams was
dead. She felt dead.
Tears ran her eye makeup.  I m gone. I don t
even know that person. She eyed this Jackie
Benson, this person looking as perfectly put
together as the prosecutor.  I feel like a fraud.
Mitch stood behind her, surveying her image in
the mirror.  It s just a new name.
But it wasn t just anything.  I m gone, she
said.  There s nothing left of me. I don t look like
me, I don t live in my house, and I m not even
going to live in my city. She swiped at her eyes,
leaving a black smudge on her cheek. The smudge
seemed to uglify her face, and she took a strange
comfort in it.  I m not Jenny Williams.
She turned around to look at Mitch, feeling lost.
 Where did I go? A sob pressed against her chest.
 Who am I? She pressed a fist against her lips to
keep from crying.  How am I going to do this?
52
She plopped down on the bed.
 It doesn t matter if they get me. I m already
dead.
 Jenny, it s only 
 Jackie! she cried on a sob.  It s Jackie now!
 It s only a name. A haircut, new clothes.
You re not dead. He squeezed her shoulder.
 Don t make this more than it is. It s just a change.
People change their names all the time.
She waved her hand towards the door.  Go
away, please. Just go away. I need some time.
They left, and Mitch paused at the door, his
brow lifted in question.
She shook her head.  Please go away.
They left her alone for the rest of the evening,
only disturbing her to ask if she wanted dinner. She
didn t, but Mitch brought her some anyway.
 I m not hungry, she pouted.
He started to say something, but then he just
set the plate down on her nightstand. He leaned on
the bed next to her, one hand on either side of her
legs.
 Usually the effects of a spanking last a little
longer than a day or two.
He was teasing her, she realized. She did a little
giggle and bit her lip.  Usually a girl isn t learning
how to be another person, and isn t about to uproot
her entire life and start all over again.
She noticed that she was running out of breath,
as if talking had been an effort. It was more like his
proximity was an effort. She swallowed and looked
up into his eyes, parting her lips.
He put a finger on her mouth.  You ll be leaving
tomorrow, he said.
 Are you going to come with me, get me
settled?
He shook his head.  No.
53
It sounded so final. So cold. So decisive. Her
voice sounded both hollow and scared when she
asked,  Will you cuddle with me? Just hold me? A
tear threatened.  I m going to miss you, Mitch.
You ve set a high standard for the one.
He touched her face gently, and then laid down
next to her, pulling her into his arms. She leaned
her head against his chest and took comfort in the
way it rose and fell with his breathing.
When she thought he was asleep, she
whispered,  I don t want to leave you, Mitch
Adams.
_____________
When she woke up, she was alone. She threw
on her new black jeans and red sweater, trying to
feel comfortable in the new style. After palming
some gel and rubbing it in her hair, she was pretty
close to looking put together.
She could get used to the five minute wake up
routine.
She walked out to breakfast, joining Liz and
Jack.
 Where s Mitch? she asked casually while
pouring herself some coffee.
They exchanged looks. Jack cleared his throat.
 Mitch isn t good at goodbyes.
She choked on her coffee and set the mug back
down.  Isn t good at&  she trailed off.  Goodbye?
Am I leaving right now?
Liz smiled, but it was a sad smile.  In an hour.
You ll take three flights under three different names,
and then drive to 
 Hawaii? she asked.
Jack let out a snort. Liz shook her head
regretfully.
 California? she tried.
54
After nearly two days of relentless airports, a
hotel, three strangers, and a five hour car drive, she
was in Wyoming. Cricktown, it was called, probably
after some redneck had called the creek running
through town a  crick.
Unless it was named after crickets, or
something. She wasn t sure that would be any
better.
But it was a new life, new beginnings, and no
one could get to her. She should be grateful. She d
dreamed often about a little cabin in some
godforsaken place. Funny how what you often
want, isn t really what you want once you get it.
Would the reverse be true? She d wanted
Hawaii, and she d gotten Cricktown. She d done
everything Mitch had said, and where had she
ended up? Some little town miles from an airport.
Some little town where she d stick out like a sore
thumb as a newcomer.
He sent her to the cold, lonely country of
Wyoming, and he didn t even care to say goodbye.
She felt her anger rise up, even noticed that she
was almost holding her breath and starting to
tremble a little.
Good thing she wouldn t see him again because
if she did, she d kick his ass clear to Hawaii. She d
make sure
A siren interrupted her thoughts.
Damn! she thought. She took two deep breaths.
Be Jackie Benson, become Jackie Benson.
But she was so scared to lie for the first time,
for real, that her whole body was trembling. She
reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet.
The officer knocked on her window, and she rolled it
down just enough. She was so nervous she couldn t
even bring herself to look at him.
 Howdy, he said. She gulped.  License and
registration, he ordered.
55
She was glad to give her hands something to do.
She reached into the glove compartment spilling
out most of the contents in her nervousness and
finally managed to pull out the little folder that
contained the registration. She handed that over
with her drivers license.
Remember your cover story, she reminded
herself.  I m Jackie Benson, she blurted.  I m
moving to Cricktown, here  she cleared her throat
  because I heard you were opening that little
clinic, and I got a job offer as a nurse there. I m
from Indiana, and I m thirty-four, and I went to
college in 
 Just license and registration, please.
Shit, she thought. I m babbling. He must know
I m lying. She wondered if he could see her
trembling hands as she handed over her
identification. Would it hold up? She tried not to
hold her breath as he went back to the car to run
her information.
What if someone forgot to enter her new identity
into the system? What if they forgot some
important, glaring detail on her identification? What
if her car wasn t really registered? What if [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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