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"For days and nights, I remained with my people. I began to teach
them more and more and more. When one group was tired and could
take no more lessons, I turned to another, and examined what they
were doing, and tried to improve their ways.
"Many things they would figure out for themselves, I knew.
Weaving was very soon to occur to them, and then they would make
better garments. That was all well and good. I showed them pigments
similar to the red ochre they already used. I took things out of the
raw earth that would make different colors for them. Every thought
that occurred to me, every advance of which I could conceive, I
imparted to them, greatly expanding their language in the process,
obviously teaching them writing, and then I also taught them music of a
wholly new kind. I taught them songs. And the women came to me,
over and over again, the women and Lilia stepped back that the
seed of the Angel might go into many, many women, 'the comely
Daughters of Men.' "
He paused again. His heart seemed broken, remembering. His
eyes were distant and totally reflecting the pale blue of the sea.
I spoke up very softly, cautiously, and from memory and ready at
any sign from him to break off. I quoted from the Book of Enoch:
" 'And Azazel... made known to them the metals, and the art of
working them, and bracelets and ornaments, and the use of anti-
mony, and the beautifying of eyelids, and all kinds of costly stones,
and all colored tinctures.' "
He turned to look at me. He seemed almost unable to speak. His
voice came softly, almost as softly as mine had as he spoke the next
lines of the book of Enoch, " 'And there arose much godlessness, and
they committed fornication, and they were led astray....' " Again he
paused and then resumed, " 'And as men perished, they cried, and
their cry went up to heaven.' " He stopped again, smiling slowly and
bitterly. "And what is the rest of it, Lestat, and what lies in between
the lines you've spoken and the lines I've spoken! Lies! I taught them
civilization. I taught them knowledge of Heaven and Angels! That's
all I taught them. There was no blood, no lawlessness, no monstrous
giants in the earth. It's lies and lies, fragments and fragments buried
in lies!"
I nodded, fearlessly, and rather certain of it, and seeing it perfectly,
and seeing it from the point of view of the Hebrews who later
believed so firmly in the purification and law, and had seen it as
uncleanness and evil . . . and told again and again of these Watchers,
these teachers, these Angels who had fallen in love with the
Daughters of Men.
"There was no magic," Memnoch said quietly. "There were no
enchantments. I didn't teach them to make swords! I didn't teach
them war. If there was knowledge amongst another people on Earth,
and I knew of that, I told them. That in the valley of another river,
men knew how to gather wheat with scythes! That there were
Ophanim in Heaven, Angels who were round, Angels who were
wheels, and that if this shape was imitated in matter, if a simple piece
of wood connected two rounded pieces, one could make an object
which would roll upon these wheels!"
He gave a sigh. "I was sleepless, I was crazed. As the knowledge
poured forth from me, as they were worn down by it, and struggled
under the burden of it, I went to the caves and carved my symbols on
the walls. I carved pictures of Heaven and Earth and angels. I carved
the light of God. I worked tirelessly until every mortal muscle in me
ached.
"And then, unable to endure their company anymore, satiated
with beautiful women, and clinging to Lilia for comfort, I went off
into the forest, claiming I needed to talk to my God in silence, and
there I collapsed.
"I lay in perfect stillness, comforted by the silent presence of
Lilia, and I thought of all that had taken place. I thought of the case I
had meant to lay before God, and how what I had learnt since had
only fitted neatly into the case I had meant to make! Nothing I had
seen in men could incline me to think differently. That I had of-
fended God, that I had lost Him forever, that I had Sheol to look
forward to, for all eternity, these things were real and I knew them,
and they beat on my soul and heart. But I couldn't change my mind!
"The case I had meant to lay before the Almighty was that these
people were above Nature and beyond Nature and demanded more
of Him, and all that I had seen only upheld me in what I believed.
How they had taken to celestial secrets. How they suffered, and
sought for some meaning to justify that suffering! If only there were a
Maker and the Maker had his reasons ... Oh, it was agony. And at the
heart of it blazed the secret of lust.
"In the orgasm, as my seed had gone into the woman, I had felt an
ecstasy that was like the joy of Heaven, I had felt it and felt it only in
connection with the body that lay beneath me, and for one split s
econd or less than that I had known, known, known that men were not
part of Nature, no, they were better, they belonged with God and
with us!
"When they came to me with their few confused beliefs were
there not invisible monsters everywhere? I told them no. Only God
and the Heavenly Court which ordained everything, and the souls of
their own in Sheol.
"When they asked if bad men and women who did not obey
their laws were not thrown at death into fire forever an idea very
current amongst them and others I was horrified, and told them
that God would never allow such a thing. A wee newborn soul to be
punished in fire forever? Atrocity, I told them. Once again, I said to
them that they should venerate the souls of the Dead to ease their
own pain and the pain of those Souls, and that when death came they
should not be afraid but go easily in the gloom and keep their eyes on
the brilliant light of Life on Earth.
"I said most of these things because I simply didn't know what to
say.
"Oh, blasphemy. I had done it, I had really done it. And now what
would be my fate? I would grow old and die, a venerated teacher, and
before I did or before some pestilence or wild beast cut off my life
sooner I would engrave into stone and clay everything I could. And
then into Sheol I would go, and I would begin to draw the souls to
me, and I would say: 'Cry, cry to Heaven!' I would teach them to look
upwards. I would say the Light is there!"
He took a breath, as if each word burnt him with pain.
I spoke again softly from the Book of Enoch. " 'And now, behold
the souls of those who have died are crying and making suit to the
gates of heaven.' "
"Yes, you know your scriptures like a good Devil," he said bitterly,
but his face was so stricken with sadness and compassion, and
this mockery was said with such feeling, that it had no sting. "And
who knew what might happen?" he asked. "Who knew! Yes, yes, I
would strengthen Sheol until those cries battered Heaven's gates and
brought them down. If you have souls and your souls can grow, then
you can be as angels! That was the only hope I had, to rule amongst
the forgotten of God."
"But God didn't let this happen, did he? He didn't let you die in
that body."
"No. And he didn't send the Flood either. And all that I had
taught was not washed in a Deluge. What remained, what worked its
way into myth and scripture was that I had been there, and that those
things had been taught, and it was within the compass of a man to
have done it; it was within logic, and not magic, and even the secrets
of Heaven were what the souls would on their own perhaps have
come to see. Sooner or later, the souls would have seen."
"But how did you get out of it? What happened to Lilia?"
"Lilia? Ah, Lilia. She died venerated, the wife of a god. Lilia." His [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]